The Average Learner 
My brother used to said to me “Everyone should be more selfish.” Although the word selfish has a negative vibe to it, I came to realised that he is not wrong.
Growing up having a people pleasing mindset in me, I’ve always prioritise others before me. But luckily not for the reason of making others to like me, but simply for the fact that sharing what I have to others brings me more joy than keeping things only to myself.
However, even prioritising others seem to hinder my progress on reaching my goals. The following is what I’ve learnt throughout the years, to help me stay focused on my goal(s). So that I can make faster progress on what I want.
Saying “No” is the default
In order to focus on your goals, you have to say “No” by default.
It is because when you say “Yes” to anything other than contributing to your own goals, you are essentially saying “No” to your goals but fulfilling other people’s goal. It is that simple.
For example, your friends invite you for lunch, holiday vacations, gaming and movie nights, etc. If you said yes, it means you will spend at least half the day participating in that activity, instead of using that time slot to work on your goals, be it studying, working out, and whatnot.
The amount of work you put in usually equals the amount of result you will get. If you slack off for a day or two, consequentially, your goal will be a day or two behind. It’s not like you can’t hangout with your friends, but every time you do, don’t forget what you are trading it off for.
Choose your friends wisely
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” - Jim Rohn
I had friends who I hanged out with almost every weekend, all we did was having dinner and played games. Come to think of it, if I were to have friends to study with every weekend instead, I could have had a bachelor degree by now.
It is not to say to not have fun with your friends. But just remember, you can find friends and activities that aligns with your goals. You can have fun while working on your goals. You don’t need to separate the two.
If you don’t currently have that kind of friends, make an effort to find them. I’m sure they are looking for you too.
Time is linear, always remember that
Life is unfair in a lot of aspects but it is fair in terms of time.
If you want to achieve your goals or certain parts in your life you are not satisfy with and you want to change that, you must spend time to deal with it. There’s no other way out.
So, start treasuring your time, treat it like it is the most important thing in life (which it is), and restructure your every moments to align to your goals.
Most of the obstacles are coming from yourself
Between your goals and where you are at right now, there are obstacles. They can be challenges you face because of unknown variables or just your vision of yourself.
How many times you have said this sentence when someone given you a good advice: “I know, but I am just not that kind of person.” Well, in other words, you knew it is a good advice that you should listen. And, you know that you are not currently doing that. Then, why not just make a little change to give it a try? Why limit yourself from doing the right thing to yourself?
“Something has to change for things to change.” This is one of my favourites motto. If you were to continue to do what you do but not seeing any result, it means you have to change the ways you do things.
Working on one task at a time
I learned this from a friend. At the time I had multiple life situations going on and I didn’t know what I should do. He suggests me to “Just focus on one thing at a time.”. His advice certainly helps me through a painful period. By tackling and focusing on just the most important thing at the time, it ease my mind from distractions I cannot control.
Humans are bad at real multi-tasking. Same goes to working on your goals. You have to focus on one thing at a time. It is not to say to not have multiple goals, but at the present time, focus on one goal, one task.
Stay positive
Envision your future successful self and always see yourself through that lens.
Break down your big goals into small achievable goals and celebrate once you finish them. Remember, a win is a win, no matter how small it is. Say if you need to finish that book, yet you have only read 3 pages today, still celebrate it! After all, you managed to make progress towards your goal. You are already better than most people who only talks but never taken action.
Staying positive and happy not only helps with brain functions, but also act as the fuel to achieve your long-term goal. And always remind yourself that you deserve an enjoyable ride for working hard.
Final Note
Staying focused has a lot to do with having a proper mindset and tailor your everyday surroundings to align with your goals. Things as simple as keeping your work desk clean, living in a quiet household, having a better sleep, etc, they all help. Also, apart from people and environment, you will need to stay away from distractions like social media too. I’ve written an article about why having no social media is better for you.
With all these taken into action, hopefully you will get what you want sooner than you think.
Good luck my stranger friend.